Art of becoming

I was sitting in the library listening to my itunes and programming away and I realized my experience of sitting and programming was changing me. Every one of my decisions was changing me. Not only my acts but my desires and intentions as I live and exercise agency. So was I becoming who I wanted to be? In other words was I doing the things to make myself into someone I liked?

The answer is sometimes. Sometimes I live up to my goals, desires and dreams. Sometimes I fall to my baser nature.

But enough about me. It seems self evident that if you spend all your time watching cartoons instead of working or other activities, you will become poor, in poor health and empty. However if you replaced most of the cartoon watching with a job, possible some educational activities and some service for others you life would be more full.

As a side note in LDS culture there is often a need, a pressing demand, to be "productive". This doesn't mean that we should work, go to church and be with our families every hour of everyday. We are to move forward one step from where we are at a time. Remembering that we are to moderate in all things. So exercise a reasonable amount. Work a moderate amount. Play some. ETC.

The key to this is for you decide what kind of person you want to be and work towards that. If can change and probably will as time passes. But the simple fact that you have a goal- that will bring more joy in your life.

Early Season Jazz Grades

This is my take on how the Jazz are doing- each player is being grade on a curve of their ability and their expectations:

Coach Sloan- gets a solid B for integrating AK and realizing he should be playing Collins or Hart.

Deron Williams-has played like an allstar part of the time, and like a clutch inefficient player some of the time too. He gets a C+ so and is on track for a possible All-Star year.

Carlos Boozer- gets a B for being our best offensive player and rebounder. He also has been making an effort in help defense. He needs to continue to improve there.

Memo- has be very poor this year. I wonder if his toe problem is still bothering him. He hasn't been rebounding or defending and looks hesitant to take his shots. C-

AK- A- He misses an A only because when he does have a shot inside he forces it to Boozer. He has been awesome.

Brewer- He has play good D, hustled and scoring inside. He also has hit a few outside shots. B+

Hart- played horrible for the first 6 games but his play has improved over the last 2. Still can't finish a layup but made few passes and a few jumpers. D+

Millsap- Up and down. Still is undersized. Can fight through some matchups and not others. C

Giricek- has hustled on D, spaced himself and hit some shots. He has been effective off the bench. B

Harpring-still is hurt and apparently sick. Can still score but is slower then dirt and falls down a lot. D

CJ Miles-has hustled and played hard in the few minutes he has gotten. C

Price- hasn't really played. C

Collins-Is a passable backup. C

Almond and Fesenko get N/A they haven't played.

Overall the Jazz have won a few close games and haven't really beaten any good teams yet. B

Truth and logic

The words most often used to describe me are "smart" and "weird". I am going to focus on the first. People in general when they meet me hear my vocabulary, the speed with which I can change topics and how quickly I pick up on what people are talking about and say wow you seem really smart. They then also assume (usually) wow if your smart you must be able to solve this problem or some difficult things. You must have life figured out. No if I could do that I would be wise not smart. I am smart, I can think and learn with the best of them but I am not wise. I am human and I err. My senses can be deceived and I can choose to delude myself. So can I know the 'right' answer about anything? Well logically I can't. I can't trust my sources of information (senses, etc). I can't trust my ability to interpret the information I get. So what can anyone trust?

The only logical answer is to ask someone else who knows? Well everyone around is human too- just as fallible as I am. Who else could I ask? The answer is God. He is the only possible source of Truth. So if you want the Truth of anything you have to go directly to the source. On the few occasions in my life I have been wise I have done so.

So pray, God answers prayers. I promise.

Me and Critiquing books

So I often am invited to read a book that one of my friends liked. I'll read it and when asked say "It was okay; I liked parts of it." When pressed I will add," The characters were stagnant. I didn't believe this character's motivations. It wasn't that great really." Often my friends are slightly taken back. They shouldn't be. I haven't written anything I consider to be good or even okay. But how to come up with these impossible standards? Well I have read good fiction. Just like eating really good chocolate it takes most the fun out of mundane american chocolate, reading really good books only whets your appetite for more.

So here are some books/series I consider really good:

Song of Ice and Fire- George R.R. Martin

This series has not be completed and if made into a movie it might be NC-17. But the characters, there are a lot of them, are beautifully conceived. Bad things don't happen for no reason, they happen because the people that live in this world are sometimes greedy or their intentions go awry or they are just crazy. Each character moves inside a interesting world, growing, interacting and changing the world around them. I hope to some day be able to create a world as engrossing as this.

Dune- Frank Herbert

These books are excellent. At the surface it is a SciFi series with a subtle plot with beautifully drawn characters, underneath it is the philosopher's repose were social commentary and insights abound. I find I have to stop and think about the moral questions Mr. Herbert raises. Good for Young Adults.

The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant- Stephen R. Donaldson

Enter the world of Thomas Covenant-the rejected, the despised, the leper. This is probably the deepest characterization I have ever read. The world isn't diverse as other fantasy but Covenant's pain, growth and decisions have a raw intensity that is astounding. Read it. (Again probably okay for Young Adults, not for children.)


Hmm I'll more later. I am too tired for now.

The first 4 games for the Jazz

Some observations after the first 4 games:

Our team defense has sucked.

The teams toughness was exposed against the Rockets and Lakers.

AK is playing really hard right now and Boozer is looking to get him involved all the time. But the Jazz offense isn't running well as it should and so no one is getting good shots.

Brewer has shown the ability to finish tough shots around the hoop and the ability to create a little. His defense has been solid but not exceptional.

Deron has played great most of the time but he has been inefficient and as the point has to make the offense work better.

Memo has been inconsistent and Boozer has been a beast.

Harpring is still hurt or just weak. He can still score and tries to hustle but his body betrays him.

Jason Hart has been downright horrible. Maybe it isn't all his fault the offense falls apart when he is in there.


The suggestions are to try a little zone defense like the 3-2 we saw in the preseason. Practice help defense better.

Offensively we just need to run our sets better--Boozer and Deron can't bail us out everytime.

Hart needs to get it together or he needs to be replaced.